Those around me know I can be a bit reserved, actually very reserved. Very rarely do I reach out to others or talk about my “feelings”. I joke that several therapists have been paid a lot of money to tell me thats not healthy or conducive to my well-being, which I’ve known all along. These last couple of weeks have proved to be especially challenging. I’ve labeled my emotional lows as a MDF…”major depression flare up” (jokingly of course). Yes, life can be one hell of an emotional roller coaster, I can nickname my setbacks if I want to. I scrambled to try all forms of instant gratification that I know work for me, from retail therapy to a few glasses of wine. Thought if I tackled my loooong to do list I would feel accomplished and worthy. That attempt instead proved to be overwhelming. Sleep becomes my enemy during flare ups like this. I can’t turn my mind off long enough to get more than 2-3 hours of sleep at a time. Of course, the vicious cycle sets is. I’m tired but can’t sleep, can’t sleep cus my mind won’t shut up, can’t function cus I’m exhausted….well you get the point. So one night this week, I chose something to cross off my sewing to do list that I knew would be super easy and make me feel like I at least got something done. I washed and ironed a bunch of new cotton fabric I have chosen to use for more baby shoes and fancy burp cloths. A glass of wine kept me company =)
